Berlin, Germany—German doctors have finally lifted the veil over Chancellor Angela Merkel's shaking bouts observed over the past summer. On at least three public occasions Merkel was observed trembling uncontrollably, fueling speculation on her health and its impact on the future of Europe's largest economy.
Now the mystery around her illness appears to have been solved. According to the latest issue of Der Spiegel, Merkel suffers from a rare form of anxiety that triggers involuntary reactions. Called onomatophobia, it is a morbid fear of specific words.
An anonymous source apparently from the political establishment and close to the medical investigation has revealed that Merkel has an adverse reaction to the mention of one specific word—Trump.
"Her reaction is quite extraordinary," the source stated. "A feeling of panic and terror drains the blood from her face and extremities resulting in uncontrolled shivering, often followed by retching."
Thankfully the fix has been easy. The article reports that doctors have fitted Merkel with a small in-ear processor that filters conversations by replacing 'Trump' with 'Arschloch', a mischievous reference to a body part that rarely sees the sun.
The magazine adds that this ailment is not new.
"This is an old medical condition that is quite common, especially among politicians in India," observed Dr Lalitha Chowdhari, head of the Department of Psychiatry at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in New Delhi.
"Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the father of Pakistan, in his later years used to have the same problem with the word 'Gandhi'. I'm told that he would choke uncontrollably on his pork sausage and require at least two pegs of imported Scotch to calm himself down.
We used to also observe this in most Tamil politicians whenever they heard 'Jayalalitha'," she added.
"Unfortunately the uncontrollable body part in all these cases was the bladder and to make matters worse our Madrasi bhais are wearing dhoti only."
No comments:
Post a Comment