Washington, DC—At the White House press conference today President Trump was on a roll, leaking ideas like a sieve.
"The researchers have been telling me that the virus grows in places that don't get washed that much. Like between your fingers. Now that's the real problem. So I asked them straight: How about your butthole? That's got to have some virus!
You know, these are some very smart smart people... may be some of the brightest people ever, but they hadn't thought about that one. See, I'm always thinking...
You know, these are some very smart smart people... may be some of the brightest people ever, but they hadn't thought about that one. See, I'm always thinking...
They also tell me about the sun being really bad for the virus because it's got a lot of ultraviolet stuff and puts out a lot of heat. Just go outside and look above. See the glorious sun and feel its warmth. That sun is free. That's one thing we don't have to get from China. Maybe it's time to make China pay for the sun. After all it was their damn virus.
So go outside, pull down your pants—or skirts, ladies!—and just point your butt right up at the sun. Moon it! Now that was funny. You get it?
The sun will kill the virus in just a minute. One minute flat...
Poof! Bye bye virus!
When you get the sun deep into your body it disinfects it from the inside. I talked yesterday about getting the sun in through your skin, or some other way. This might be a better way. It's much better than trying to get it in through your mouth. If you take a look down at your behind you'll see right away that there's no bend over there like in your throat. So the sunlight goes straight in and cleans up shop.
The sun will kill the virus in just a minute. One minute flat...
Poof! Bye bye virus!
When you get the sun deep into your body it disinfects it from the inside. I talked yesterday about getting the sun in through your skin, or some other way. This might be a better way. It's much better than trying to get it in through your mouth. If you take a look down at your behind you'll see right away that there's no bend over there like in your throat. So the sunlight goes straight in and cleans up shop.
The fake news media put my statements out of context... the stuff about the Lysol. I'm a businessman, maybe one of the most successful, just trying to solve problems... creatively, in new ways that no one imagined before.
Here's what I'm thinking. If Lysol works, how about Draino? Melania says it dissolves just about everything in our bathrooms. She should know. Her hair is everywhere. May be we shoot some of that stuff up. Or maybe pour some of it down there when you're doing the sun thing.
I say we go with sun and Draino and kill the virus one way or the other. You got nothing to lose."
Here's what I'm thinking. If Lysol works, how about Draino? Melania says it dissolves just about everything in our bathrooms. She should know. Her hair is everywhere. May be we shoot some of that stuff up. Or maybe pour some of it down there when you're doing the sun thing.
I say we go with sun and Draino and kill the virus one way or the other. You got nothing to lose."
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