Washington, July 31, 2017—In a stunning new development, President Trump fired newly appointed chief of staff John Kelly after less than 24 hours on the job.
"We took out Priebus in six months and The Mooch in less than ten days. Now we're taking out beleaguered Kelly in less than 24 hours. This makes me the most decisive President to ever occupy the office since Lincoln," tweeted Trump a few minutes before midnight.
"John Kelly will be leaving his role as White House Chief of Staff," Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary said in a statement. "Since I am the only staff left, the President felt it was a bit unnecessary to have a chief. We wish Kelly the best and thank him for his long service."
Meanwhile a fresh leak from White House reveals a new crisis brewing. Strategist Steve Bannon has been missing. It is learned that he is yet to emerge from a bathroom break he had taken more than twelve hours ago.
"I've already told you about his f_____ impossible maneuvers. That bipolar genitalophile is putting on some strange moves in there, I can tell you," outgoing communications director Scaramucci reportedly said as he left the White House.
