An amazing discovery was announced by NASA today—that of 7 exoplanets orbiting the same dwarf star, setting up the most intriguing possibility of life.
Meanwhile from the swamps of Washington, the White House reaction was immediate. Trump pronounced this as yet another example of fake news from the failing New York Times.
"The dishonest media is at it again. Just un-be-LEE-vable," he chomped. "They will tell you anything—totally unbelievable stuff like this--just to get your attention away from the real facts. We won bigly. 306 electoral votes. This was the biggest ever win... Period. And the dishonest media doesn't even want to talk about this. The other day we had over 7,000 people together in that hanger with us. Waiting all morning. In the hot Florida sun. But the phony press would rather talk about these 7 pesky planets..."
"So here's what I'm going to do. We're going to add these 7 planets to the 7 countries in our new travel ban policy. These are bad bad people. They are just pouring in. And soon they'll be coming from these planets. Some of these bad hombres might not even be people. Think about this... which bathrooms are they going to use?" he pondered.
"Coming back to NASA, I have told our scientists that we will be sending a manned mission to Mars. It will use clean, very clean, coal... American coal from West Virginia. The miners are going back to work. I promised you that. The mission will also take at last one Senate Democrat with them. Okay. I will make an exception. They can have McCain."
"And he's free to take Kellyanne Conway with him."
